bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
