You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
