he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
did i just pee glitter
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