question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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