Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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