Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
