I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize