In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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