Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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