yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
