Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
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