you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
