I wannas sexs uuuuu
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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