you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Jรคger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize
