: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
