did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
So squirting runs in the family.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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