i permit you to call me
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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