I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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