just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She's not a foreskin expert like you
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
