why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
