Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
