there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
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