The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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