Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
