I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
