Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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