Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
