why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
