stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
