The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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