Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
