so explain again why im purple
no
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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