Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
