Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
