Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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