I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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