somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
