he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
