apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
