This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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