I love black thongs
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
