It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
