pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
50% drunk capacity currently
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
