Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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