Nicole vs. Life
I can text with my tongue
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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