Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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