Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Edward fifth and chaser hands
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
