Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
