This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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