I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
