You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
