they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
