you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
