Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
last night I used snow as a chaser
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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