if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
