just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
