well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
