I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
